Creative Pick Up Lines and Totally Free Dating Personals

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single girls with nude profiles Welcome Sexy singles!  Our in depth dating directory offers top quality singles-oriented websites for those interested in casual dating, romance, singles chat, advice, or good old fashion sexual relations, with a woman, even! Our free of charge dating services brings people together who share the desire to meet and explore others sexuality. We'll never charge a cent as a thanks for using our site for any other whims, needs or desires. We also offer numerous pages of free picture galleries of the hottest girls in the world! No tricks, pop up traps, or blind link redirects.

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Creative Pickup Lines!
1. I wish you were a door so I could slam you all day.

2. Nice legs...what time do they open?

3. Do you work for UPS? I thought I saw you checking out my package.

4. You've got 206 bones in your body, want one more?

5. Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?

6. I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you.

7. I'm a bird watcher and I'm looking for a Big Breasted Bed Thrasher: have you seen one?

8. I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.

9. Want to play army? I'll lay down and you can blow the hell outta me.

10. I wish you were a Pony Carousel outside Superdrug, so I could ride you all day long for a quarter.

11. Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a Braille name tag.

12. I'd really like to see how you look when I'm naked.

13. Is that a ladder in your stockings or the stairway to heaven?

14. You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.

15. Are those real?

16. You must be the limp doctor because I've got a stiffy.

17. I'd walk a million miles for one of your smiles, and even farther for that thing you do with your tongue.

18. If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning.

19. (Look down at your crotch) Well It's not just going to suck itself.

20. You know, if I were you, I'd have sex with me.

21. You. Me. Whipped cream. Handcuffs. Any questions?

2 2. F@# me if I'm wrong, but is your name Sherry Titsbottom?

23. Those clothes would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor.

24. My name is (name)...remember that, you'll be screaming it later.

25. Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?

26. Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.

27. My friend wants to know if YOU think I'M cute.

28. Hi. The voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.

29. My name isn't Elmo, but you can tickle me anytime you want to.

30. I know milk does a body good, but DAMN, how much have you been drinking?

31. If you were the last woman and I was the last man on earth, I bet we could do it in public.

32. Wanna come over for some pizza and sex? No? Why? Don't you like pizza?

33. Baby, I'm an American Express lover...you shouldn't go home without me.

34. Do you sleep on your stomach? Can I???

35. Do you wash your pants in Windex? Because I can see myself in them.

36. I lost my puppy. Can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room.

37. (Lick finger and wipe on her shirt) Let's get you out of these wet clothes.

38. Your body's name must be Visa, because it's everywhere I want to be.

39. Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money

40. I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your bed rock

41. I may not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you.

42. Yo Baby, you be my Dairy Queen, I'll be your Burger King, you treat me right, and I'll do it your way.

43. Excuse me, do you have your phone number, I seem to have lost mine.

44. I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room.

45. I'm new in town, could I have directions to your house.

46. If you were a new hamburger at McDonald's, you would be McGorgeous.

47. You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away

48, If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning.

Women Get Hip and Sassy
Man: Haven't we met before?
Woman: Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.

Man: So, wanna go back to my place ?
Woman: Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine.

Man: I'd like to call you. What's your number?
Woman: It's in the phone book.

Man: But I don't know your name.
Woman: That's in the phone book too.

Man: So what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: What sign were you born under?
Woman: No Parking.

Man: Hey, baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not Enter

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized !

Man: Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason
Woman: Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!

Man: I'm here to fulfill your every sexual fantasy.
Woman: You mean you've got both a donkey and a Great Dane?

Man: I know how to please a woman.
Woman: Then please leave me alone.

Man: I want to give myself to you.
Woman: Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.

Man: I can tell that you want me.
Woman: Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you to leave.

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy:
Woman: Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Man: Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots?
Woman: Sorry, I don't date outside my species.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I'd go through anything for you.
Woman: Good! Let's start with your bank account.

Man: I'd love to get into your pants.
Woman: No thanks, I already have one a**hole in there already.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: Yes, but would you stay there?

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This quiz uncovers your fundamental personality type and gives you insight on how to better relate to others and improve your love life!
Purity Level Test
Find out how pure or wild you really are! This test will be able to compare you with thousands of others. Find out how you compare.
Self Esteem Test
There are many ingredients of sex appeal. Some of them are beyond your control, in the mind and chemistry of your prospective mate.
What's your I.Q.?
Discover and Compare Your IQ. There is no penalty for a wrong answer so go ahead and make your best guess if you are unsure.


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Online Dating Advice Basics for Miami Guys

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State Mottos

Alabama: Hell Yes, We Have Electricity !

Alaska: 11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong!

Arizona: But It's A Dry Heat

Arkansas: Literacy Ain't Everything

California: By 30, Our Women Have More Plastic Than Your Honda

Colorado: If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother

Connecticut: Like Massachusetts, Only The Kennedy's Don't Own It-Yet

Delaware: We Really Do Like The Chemicals In Our Water

Florida: Ask Us About Our Grandkids

Georgia: We Put The "Fun" In Fundamentalist Extremism

Hawaii: Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru (Death To Mainland Scum, But Leave Your Money)

Idaho: More Than Just Potatoes...Well Okay, We're Not, But The Potatoes Sure Are Real Good

Illinois: Please Don't Pronounce the "S"

Indiana: 2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free

Iowa: We Do Amazing Things With Corn

Kansas: First Of The Rectangle States

Kentucky: Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names

Louisiana: We're Not ALL Drunk Cajun Wackos, But That's Our Tourism Campaign

Maine: We're Really Cold, But We Have Cheap Lobster

Maryland: If You Can Dream It, We Can Tax It

Massachusetts: Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden's (For Most Tax Brackets)

Michigan: First Line Of Defense From The Canadians

Minnesota: 10,000 Lakes... And 10,000,000,000,000 Mosquitoes

Mississippi: Come And Feel Better About Your Own State

Missouri: Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars At Work

Montana: Land Of The Big Sky, The Unabomber, Right-Wing Crazies, And Very Little Else

Nebraska: Ask About Our State Motto Contest

Nevada: Hookers and Poker!

New Hampshire: Go Away And Leave Us Alone

New Jersey: You Want A ##$%##! Motto? I Got Yer ##$%##! Motto Right Here!

New Mexico: Lizards Make Excellent pets

New York: You Have The Right To Remain Silent, You Have The Right To An Attorney....

North Carolina: Tobacco Is A Vegetable

North Dakota: We Really Are One Of The 50 States!

Ohio: At Least We're Not Michigan

Oklahoma: Like The Play, Only No Singing

Oregon: Spotted Owl... It's What's For Dinner

Pennsylvania: Cook With Coal

Rhode Island: We're Not REALLY An Island

South Carolina: Remember The Civil War? We Didn't Actually Surrender

South Dakota: Closer Than North Dakota

Tennessee: The Educashun State

Texas: Si' Hablo Ing'les

Utah: Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus

Vermont: Yep

Virginia: Who Says Government Stiffs And Slackjaw Yokels Don't Mix?

Washington: Help! We're Overrun By Nerds And Slackers!

Washington, D.C.: Wanna Be Mayor?

West Virginia: One Big Happy Family... Literally!

Wisconsin: Come Cut The Cheese

Wyoming: Where Men Are Men... and the sheep are scared

Coded Personal Ad
Single Stud Muffin Seeks:

Tall well-built woman with good
reputation, who can cook frogs
legs, who appreciates a good fuc
schia garden, classic music, tal-
king without getting too serious.

Feel free to apply, but please only read lines 1, 3, and 5.



Boys Will Always Be Boys

A masked man goes into a sperm bank, points a gun at the woman behind the counter, and says, "Open the safe." She says, "This isn't a real bank, it's a sperm bank."

He says, "Open the safe or I'll shoot." She opens the safe, and he says, "Now take one of the bottles and drink it."

After she opens the bottle and drinks it, he takes off his mask and the woman realizes the robber is her husband. He says, "Now you see? It's not so difficult, is it?"


Eating Pussy Can Be Dangerous!

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Quotable Quotes

Ah, yes divorce...from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet. - Robin Williams

Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself. - Roseanne

Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place. - Billy Crystal

You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, "My God, you're right! I never would've thought of that!" - Dave Barry

According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful. - Jay Leno

Slogans To Help Promote Safe Sex

1. Cover your stump before you hump

2. Before you attack her, wrap your whacker

3. Don't be silly, protect your willy

4. When in doubt, shroud your spout

5. Don't be a loner, cover your boner

6. You can't go wrong when you shield your dong

7. If you're not going to sack it, go home & whack it

8. If you think she's spunky cover your money

9. If you slip between her things, be sure to condomize

10. It will be sweeter if you wrap your peter

11. She won't get sick if you wrap your dick

12. If you're going into heat, package your meat

13. When you're undressing your venus dress up your penis

14. When you take off her pants & blouse, slip up your trouser mouse

15. Especially in December, gift wrap your member