Articles for Men regarding Women, Online Dating, and How to Score!

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The Tease to Please Philosophy

We've all heard about being "cocky and funny," or "confident and funny," or variations thereof. This article is going to start you on a path to meeting more women, the beginning to all your action. It's called Tease to Please.

If you meet more women, you get more experience, you get more confidence, you get laid more, and more options open up to you. If you date only a few women, you tend to cling on to each as if she was your saving grace.

We're going to start you on a program of understanding how to meet women at any time and any place. All you need to do is open your eyes and set aside about 4 minutes (or less) to talk to her, if that. This approach will work ANYWHERE you see a woman, and it doesn't require you to memorize a bunch of secret handshakes or hypnotic trance words.

Ready To Rock?

Tease to Please works because it short-circuits her usual defense mechanisms to meeting 'strange' men. You see, every woman comes with her factory-installed defense mechanism against meeting new guys. When a guy approaches her, for any reason, she assumes you're picking up on her. It's what she's gotten used to. All women are by now, and they all have a standard routine of being a little stand-offish to you until you bust past this barrier.

You have 3 seconds from spotting a woman to when you approach her and say something to engage her interest. If you wait longer, your opportunity window closes faster than Ticketmaster can sell out Britney Spears tickets.

In that 3 seconds, you do this:

Look her over, and spot something about her appearance that you can comment on. Start with her shoes, and work your way up. DO NOT choose a physical body trait (like big earlobes, bubble-butt, giant breasts) to comment on. Especially not her overall attractiveness.

You find ONE thing that you can key off of and say something about that will give you and inroad. This is your ANCHOR. Once you've found it, you comment on it to her and smile at her, making strong eye contact.

Example: She's got bright red shoes on. "Wow, those are ... interesting shoes. My sister might like a pair like that. Where'd you get them...?"

Example: She's got a black denim dress on. "My sister likes dresses like that. Where'd you get it...?"

(If you don't have a sister, use 'Aunt' or 'Cousin.' You shouldn't have to lie.)

She'll say something like, "Oh, I got it at Macy's" or something like that. You then nod your head and look at it for a second, as if you can't make up your mind about it. At no time do you ever throw out the usual nauseating male flattery approaches, like "Oh, that dress goes so PERFECTLY with your cheekbones." (There is a time and a place for flattery, and it's NOT in an improvised meeting like this.)

Flattery is the scream for approval of the desperate guy. It's like cotton candy - sweet for a split second, but disappears almost immediately. You want to dangle the PROMISE in front of her first.

You *almost* convey a look of inconvenience, that you went out of your way to comment on her alligator-skin shoes, or her denim skirt. The less she thinks you approached her out of sexual interest, the lower her guard is.

Don't be insulting! Just be mysterious and ambiguous.

(Her next mental question is: "Gee, I wonder if he likes my dress? He didn't say." )

From here, you will bridge into the Tease portion of the conversation, and we'll cover that in the next installment. All there really is left to do is to keep her engaged in the conversation for just a minute or two, show some confidence, and walk away with her phone number.

Now, the typical question I get is "What if there's nothing out of the ordinary about her?"

Simple: You make something up. There is ALWAYS something you can find when you look, and if it's not readily apparent, you make it up. If she's got clothes on (and even here in San Francisco, they still wear clothes) you can find something to pick out. I recommend looking for jewelry, because every woman takes a lot of thought in selecting her jewelry.

For especially attractive women, you need to come on a bit differently, and it pays to use a combination of the negative-hit with this. I even recommend that when you get used to this technique, you use it exclusively on the hotties. When you're comfortable with it, it makes more impact.

You say just one thing, and it's so easy you'll have a tough time forgetting it: "Your dress/shoes/blouse/jacket/purse (whatever) caught my eye. I like the style, but I think you should try it in black, instead. You'd look better with it in black instead of gray." (Choose the color accordingly.) You nod your head, again meeting her eyes full-on.

Her head will suddenly spin ... "But... but... all the other guys said I looked like a fashion model with this on... What do you mean?"

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Con't

By using these approaches, you've just flipped her trust switch in her head. You see, she starts out needing to find a reason to be interested and trust YOU - or she quickly categorizes you as a friend (FRIEND = non-lover, a woman you won't be able to sleep with). If you just start talking to her neutrally, she's wondering, "Is he safe?" For all she knows, you're a nut-case looking to pull her into a multi-level marketing scheme. NOW, all of a sudden, she is suddenly told (by your words and actions) that you might not be so interested. You're different - i.e., INTERESTING to her.

For the first week or so, if you're feeling a bit nervous about approaching women, work your way into this slowly. Just use the intro line I gave you, and take it wherever you need. Hell, I'd even recommend you ONLY ask her the first part ("Where'd you get xxxx, my sister might like that ..."), then say "thanks" and walk away. Get used to just chatting up anyone and everyone you meet. Take the pressure off for the first week or two, until you get used to the fact that WOMEN AREN'T GOING TO REJECT YOU LIKE YOU THINK THEY WILL.

You don't need anything fancy or clever. You don't need anything special to comment on. You just take WHATEVER she is wearing or holding and comment on it AS IF IT WERE different or interesting. Then, by virtue of following it up with a quick tease, you get her mind off her initial defense (IS HE SAFE?) and on to validating herself a little to you. This is the primary psychological underpinning of the whole "TEASE TO PLEASE" method. And I just gave it to you in a simple, workable format.

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What most guys will do is to spend all their energy trying to climb over her initial trust hurdle, when they really need to focus on getting her to flip that switch in her head by making HER the one to present herself to you. (This will be more apparent when I explain the Tease portion in our next installment.)

Most guys will take any approach and shoot it down and find everything they can about what's WRONG with it before they will go out and use it and make it work. My advice to you is to prove it won't before you even think about coming back to me with a rebuttal. I know that I'll get scads of letters asking me what to do in X situation or Y situation, because they're 'different' somehow, but it makes NO difference. You only have to spot one anchor on her to comment about. I use it all the time, and it is very effective.

Just remember to keep things light and humorous, and never to insult.

ANYTHING can work, if you just use it in the right way. I just gave you the first half of a technique that works ANYWHERE, ANYTIME. On ANY woman. The best part about it is that it is simple, universal, and effective. All you have to do is to find your target, find an anchor, and start your Tease ... (but only to please...)

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Love Letters Suck, But The Chicks Dig 'Em!

Love letters are a wonderful way to express your feelings to someone. They are not hard to create, if you give it some thought. Be sincere, a little unique, and you'll certainly bring a smile to your love's face and a joyous flutter to the heart.

1. NO CANNED POETRY. "What does that mean?" Everyone copies some romantic verse from a famous author to put in their love letters. Be different and original. Write a poem yourself. Or if you're not talented at that sort of thing, simply put down a few lines from the heart about how you feel.

2. USE A BLANK CARD. Instead of adding your verse to a card that already has a saying in it, or putting it on a blank piece of paper, try using a blank card. You can get something with a romantic picture on the front, then include your personally written verse on the inside (written in your own hand; don't type it). If you're afraid of messing up, write it on a piece of paper first, then cut the paper to size, and tape or glue it in the card. That way if you make a mistake, you can try again on another piece of paper, without ruining the card.

3. LEAVE A NOTE IN A SECRET PLACE. Leave a love note somewhere your partner will find it when you're not around. Let your love enjoy it in private. It will be a wonderful surprise. And you'll most likely get a wonderful surprise in return.

4. DON'T SEND AN ANONYMOUS LETTER. Although it may seem romantic, with the world as it is today, an anonymous letter may cause the uncomfortable feeling of being stalked. Your love might begin to wonder if it's from someone who's affection and attention is not desired.

5. INCLUDE A SMALL PRESENT. Include something that can be put inside the card or letter. A pressed flower. A small, flat pendant - like a gold heart. A memento from someplace special you two went on a date, perhaps with the word "remember" printed on it.

Good luck with your love letters. I'm sure there are lots of other ideas you can come up with on your own. Create lots of romance and have fun!

A Man's Appearance Does Matter

Often, women say it, and the fellows think that a man's appearance does not matter or beauty is only in the eye of the beholder. While women might be socialized more to focus on how they look, men are judged as much on the end result.

White-collar job interviews involving strangers succeed or fail much more due to appearance-derived judgments than underlying abilities, First dates often are last dates if there isn't strong mutual physical attraction.

Those are among an increasing number of findings from studies and research that confirm that looks matter and there exist universal standards of beauty.

People around the world are in strong agreement as to the physical attractiveness of others. Judgments made about an individual's quality as a person are formed in seconds based mainly on appearance, and those judgments are instinctual and often long-lasting, especially if negative. People also show plenty of agreement when inferring primarily from appearance characteristics such as friendliness, popularity, socioeconomic status, intelligence, and honesty. What�s more, with most people, the exterior is not an inaccurate reflection of the interior; and it continually influences (and, typically, reinforces) the opinions of people who already know each other.

Too often, due to fears concering anything from self-regard to physical comfort, men refuse to dismiss the myth that appearance is mostly irrelevant. If that's you, stop it. Your looks affect a number of important things in life, including your chances of obtaining a mate, making friends, and succeeding professionally, as well as your self-esteem and social confidence, and even your personality. Judith Rasband for Conselle Institute teaches that appearance affects the way you think, feel, and act and then how others react. No wonder that merely lacking confidence or credibility in one's appearance can cripple a person just as much as outright rejection can - especially in a world that is increasingly disconnected and image-obessed.

This importance of looking your best is on its way to receiving mainstream attention. Experts have caught on to the importance of social skills, body language and vocal cues in making the best self-presentation possible. However, few seem to be paying attention to the fact that all of those forms of communications can be directly or indirectly impacted, or even negated, by appearance. Where men's appearance specifically is concerned - only bodybuilding and business dress have much written about them. The broad spectrum of the physical aspect, which is far more than just clothing, is the new and last frontier of men's image management to be conquered, and we are here to help.

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