Adult Dating Humor, Sex Jokes, Relationship Parodies, Women Bashing Funnies

The only completely free of charge adult personals on the Internet! No memberships or email required!
Find totally free contact sexual related personals, swingers and sex matchmaking site reviews, jokes and parodies, love and sex articles, tips for meeting women.

We Also Feature Free Photo Galleries of Beautiful Naked Women!

Your Online Oasis for Meeting Sexy Single Girls!


funny sex and penis jokes? Welcome to our Jokes and Humor sections!  Our in depth dating directory offers top quality singles-oriented websites for those interested in casual dating, romance, singles chat, advice, or good old fashion sexual relations, with a woman, even! Our free of charge dating services brings people together who share the desire to meet and explore others sexuality. We'll never charge a cent as a thanks for using our site for any other whims, needs or desires. We also offer numerous pages of free picture galleries of the hottest girls in the world! No tricks, pop up traps, or blind link redirects.

This site is safe and clean, fun, informative, and sometimes extremely humorous! We aim to please, and hope you enjoy your stay! We never track our surfers so you're 100% anonymous. Enjoy yourself already!

Adultfriendfinder.com- Largest Online Sex Personals Site Adult picture sex personals with 11 million registered members, many with singles profiles showing off thier um, naked bodies. Without a doubt the ultimate in sexy online dating, this adult dating site boasts one of the largest sex dating communities on the Web. It's not just an adult matchmaking site or service, it is a fully functioning adult singles community! Here you will find online video chats, adult photo galleries, and adult dating articles. If you looking for erotic encounters and the best in adult dating and activities, this is the service for you. Largest Adult Personals with over 10 million registered members! If you want a site who emphasis on 'adult' and 'sex' then this site is for you. swingers | lesbian | latina | asian | mature | interracial

We All Need a Good Laugh Now and Then


Which condom would you use....?

Nike Condoms: Just do it.

Toyota Condoms: Oh what a feeling.

Diet Pepsi Condoms: You got the right one, baby.

Pringles Condoms: Once you pop, you can't stop.

Mentos Condoms: The freshmaker.

Flintstones Vitamins Condom Pack: Ten million strong and growing.

Secret Condoms: Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman.

Macintosh Condoms: It does more, it costs less, its that simple.

Ford Condoms: The best never rest.

Chevy Condoms: Like a rock.

Dial Condoms: Aren't you glad you use it? Don't you wish everybody did?

New York Lotto Condoms: Cause hey-- you never know.

California Lotto Condoms: Who's next?

Avis Condoms: Trying harder than ever.

KFC Condoms: Finger-Licking Good.

Coca Cola Condoms: Always a Real Thing.

Lays Condoms: Betcha can't have just one.

Cambells Soup Condoms: Mm, mm good.

The Carl's Jr. Condom: If it doesn't get all over the place, it doesn't belong in your face...

General Electric: We bring good things to life!

AT&T condom: 'Reach out and touch someone.'

Bounty: The quicker picker upper.

Microsoft: where do you want to go today ?

Energizer: It keeps going and going and going....

M&M condom: 'It melts in your mouth, not in your hands!'

Chevron: use them? people do.

Taco Bell: get some; make a run for the border

MCI: for friends and family

Double Mint: Double your pleasure, double your fun!

The Sears latex condom: One coat is good for the entire winter

Delta Airlines travel pack: Delta's ready when you are

United Airlines travel pack: Fly United

The Star Trek Condom: To Boldly Go Where No Man Has Gone Before

Wendy Condoms: Where's the beef?

Denny's Condoms: $1.99 Grand Slam

Mazda Condom: It Just Feels Right!

Maxwell House: Good to the last drop!

McDonalds condom: Over 99 billion served

Hewlett Packard condoms: Expanding Possibilities

Burger King: Have it your way

Dairy Queen: We treat you right

AOL: So easy to use, no wonder it's #1

AmateurMatch Sex Personal Ads
Amateur Match is adult dating gone wild! Amateurmatch offers all the matchmaking features of the mainstream site, however things can get a little out of control. Girls are taking of their tops and showing their naughy spots. Couples are exposed and exploring for other couples. Men are of course being men. Members love AmateurMatch and love to show off their goods, whether it's for naughty fun, swinging or romance. Naughty Photo Personals with Explicit Photo Galleries. Membership includes:Erotic Stories, Sex Advice, Instant Messaging, Live Chat, Who's Online, Advanced Profile Matching, Full Featured Message Center, Advance Search, Profile Ratings and Great tools like hot list and buddies.

80,000+ Women want to sleep with you!
This is a real sex club that was created by a group of married women who wanted a safe place to go to find real men for one night stands and affairs. The site has grown to about 80,000 members who are getting laid on a constant basis! Explore a jungle of desires and needs, at one of the most refined and select clubs on the Net. One of the biggest adult personals and swingers directory with thousands of sexy photos! It's FREE, easy, and anonymous to join! Find a fiery one-night stand, erotic threesome, or a long-term wild sexual relationship.

For all our Free Naked Girl Galleries - Click Here!

Personality Test
This quiz uncovers your fundamental personality type and gives you insight on how to better relate to others and improve your love life!
Purity Level Test
Find out how pure or wild you really are! This test will be able to compare you with thousands of others. Find out how you compare.
Self Esteem Test
There are many ingredients of sex appeal. Some of them are beyond your control, in the mind and chemistry of your prospective mate.
What's your I.Q.?
Discover and Compare Your IQ. There is no penalty for a wrong answer so go ahead and make your best guess if you are unsure.


Passion Adult Personal Ads
Soft core photo personal ads with 6 million registered members, and 12,000 new sexy singles joining each day. This top notch adult only dating personals site is on fire! State of the art interface makes it super fast to search and browse the millions sexy picture profiles. Caters the young to mid age singles demographic that are not afraid to show a little skin. The rockin' chat rooms are also included with your free profile. Many naked women can be found here!

Kinky Photo Personal Ads
Caters to B&D, couple Swingers and other Alternative Singles from around the world. Whether you are a Free or Paid Member of this adult match site, you can post additional photos of yourself to the Member Photo Galleries. Do it today and the thousands of other hot single members will see your photos in 24 hours. Want to meet people that share your desires, interests, or kinks? This is the site! Be part of the largest Bondage/Discipline/Fetish personals community with over 1,000,000 active members and thousands of kinky photos! It's FREE, easy, and anonymous to join! Every week, over 18,000 new people join so you'll always find new hot friends. Keep track of your favourite profiles with 'Hot List'. Read articles, advice lines, and more in Alt.com's fetish magazine! Dating, Romance relationships friends and lovers. Sadism and Masochism found Here!

Top Ten Limericks Sure To Capture Her Heart


10. I admire your strength, I admire your spunk But the thing I like best, is getting you drunk.

9. Our love will never become cold and hollow Unless, one day, you refuse to swallow.

8. I bought this Valentine's card at the store In hopes that, later, you'd be my whore.

7. This feels so good, it feels so right I just wish it wasn't $250 a night.

6. You're a woman of style, you're a woman of class Especially when I'm spanking, your big-round-fat ass.

5. Before I met you, my heart was so famished But now I'm fulfilled. . . SO MAKE ME A SAMICH!!!

4. Through all the things that came to pass Our love has grown. . . but so's your ass.

3. You're a honey. . . and you're a cutie I just wished you had J-Lo's "booty".

2. I don't wanna be sappy or silly or corny So, right to the point, let's do it, I'm horny!

1. If you think that hickey looks like a blister, you should check out the one that I gave to your sister!

Nude Singles Dating Ads
Are you seeking discreet and erotic sexual encounters? Perhaps looking for a few swingers to ad some spice to your sex life? Even fulfill your desires and needs. Try IwantU - Adult dating personals. Find Sex clubx, erotic photo personals, fetish dating, kinky singles seeking couples. Meet adult singles with Hot pictures. Register for a free trial and find out how much you are wanted. Dating, Adult, and Alt clubs. Explore a jungle of desires and needs, at one of the most refined and select clubs on the Net.

Singles Cyber-Sex Webcam Chatrooms
Free lifetime memberships, real naked people chatting! Wanna Get Wild? Sign up now for FREE and meet other singles in to alternative lifestyles! It's free to join and completely anonymous. Thousands of live home-based video chatrooms. Because a live picture with sound of a real person is worth more than a thousand words.

Adult Match Doctor Personals
Thousands of hot sexy profiles. An adult community that emphasises sexual discovery through the use of personals, chat, videos, message boards, photos, articles, and video conferencing.

Adam & Eve Reputable Adult Toys
Over 30 years of experience providing quality Adult Products. Thanks to the selection and service, they are the nation's leader in Adult Mail Order with over 4 million customers. Safe online ordering, and great customer services. Spice of that life! Totally discreet mailing right to your doorstep

Adult Videos Catalog
The Internet's largest selection adult video store. Offers discreet billing, express same day shipping, and money back guarantee. Great flicks at the best prices you'lll find


Religious Fundamentalism Is A Shitty Topic


Taoism: Shit happens.

Buddhism: If shit happens, it's not really shit.

Islam: If shit happens, it's the will of Allah

Protestantism: Shit happens because you don't work hard enough.

Judaism: Why does shit always happen to us?!

Hinduism: This shit happened before.

Catholicism: Shit happens because you're bad.

Har Krisna: Shit happens, Rama Rama!

T.V. Evangelism: Send more shit!!

Atheism: No shit.

Jehovah's Witness: Knock knock, shit happens.

Hedonism: There's nothing like a good shit happenin'.

Christian Science: Shit Happens in your mind.

Agnosticism: Maybe shit happens, maybe it doesn't.

Existentialism: What is shit anyway?

Stoicism: This shit doesn't bother me.

Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this shit!

What? Huh? Who? Where? When? Doh!


1) Which sexual position produces the ugliest children? Ask your mother.

2) How do you embarrass an archeologist? Give him a tampon and ask him which period it came from.

3) What's the difference between a bitch and a whore? A whore sleeps with everybody at the party, and a bitch sleeps with everybody at the party except you.

4) What's the difference between love, true love, and showing off? Spitting, swallowing, and gargling.

5) What's the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife? A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewelry.

6) What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?

The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

7) What is the biggest problem for an atheist? No one to talk to during orgasm.

8) What do you call an Amish guy with his hand up a horse's ass? A mechanic.

9) Who is the most popular guy at the nudist colony? The guy who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen donuts.

10) Who is the most popular girl at the nudist colony? She is the one who can eat the last donut.

11) Jewish dilemma: Free PORK.

12) The three words most hated by men during sex: "Are you in?"

13) The three words women hate to hear when having sex: "Honey, I'm home!"

14) Why do men take showers instead of baths? Pissing in the bath is disgusting.

15) Do you know why they call it the Wonder Bra? When you take it off, you wonder where her tits went.

HOW TO SAY "I LOVE YOU" IN 9 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES:

English . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . I Love you
Spanish . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Te Amo
French . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Je T'aime
German . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Ich Liebe Dich
Japanese . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Ai Shite Imasu
Italian . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Ti Amo
Chinese. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Wo Ai Ni
Swedish . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Jag Alskar

Alabama, Arkansas, North Carolina, Georgia, Tennessee, Texas, Mississippi, North Carolina and Kentucky. . . . . . . . Nice Tits!

Totally Free Adult Personals

The Web's only love, sex, romance, and matchmaking meta search engine




Jokes - Sex Humor - Relationship Parodies

Copyright 2003 - 2004 www.sex-personal-ads-naked-girls.com - Sex Personals Adult Dating Services - All Rights Reserved

Site Summary: sex-personal-ads-naked-girls.com offers quality online adult dating services, totally free photo sex personals, dating jokes, love articles, tips on meeting single women online, totally free for all singles, post profiles at no charges, no membership or email address required, send messages and make contact for no cost, ever. site map

Site graphics owned and copyrighted courtesy of reciprocal vendor links - No content herein may be used without permission
 


State Mottos

Alabama: Hell Yes, We Have Electricity !

Alaska: 11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong!

Arizona: But It's A Dry Heat

Arkansas: Literacy Ain't Everything

California: By 30, Our Women Have More Plastic Than Your Honda

Colorado: If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother

Connecticut: Like Massachusetts, Only The Kennedy's Don't Own It-Yet

Delaware: We Really Do Like The Chemicals In Our Water

Florida: Ask Us About Our Grandkids

Georgia: We Put The "Fun" In Fundamentalist Extremism

Hawaii: Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru (Death To Mainland Scum, But Leave Your Money)

Idaho: More Than Just Potatoes...Well Okay, We're Not, But The Potatoes Sure Are Real Good

Illinois: Please Don't Pronounce the "S"

Indiana: 2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free

Iowa: We Do Amazing Things With Corn

Kansas: First Of The Rectangle States

Kentucky: Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names

Louisiana: We're Not ALL Drunk Cajun Wackos, But That's Our Tourism Campaign

Maine: We're Really Cold, But We Have Cheap Lobster

Maryland: If You Can Dream It, We Can Tax It

Massachusetts: Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden's (For Most Tax Brackets)

Michigan: First Line Of Defense From The Canadians

Minnesota: 10,000 Lakes... And 10,000,000,000,000 Mosquitoes

Mississippi: Come And Feel Better About Your Own State

Missouri: Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars At Work

Montana: Land Of The Big Sky, The Unabomber, Right-Wing Crazies, And Very Little Else

Nebraska: Ask About Our State Motto Contest

Nevada: Hookers and Poker!

New Hampshire: Go Away And Leave Us Alone

New Jersey: You Want A ##$%##! Motto? I Got Yer ##$%##! Motto Right Here!

New Mexico: Lizards Make Excellent pets

New York: You Have The Right To Remain Silent, You Have The Right To An Attorney....

North Carolina: Tobacco Is A Vegetable

North Dakota: We Really Are One Of The 50 States!

Ohio: At Least We're Not Michigan

Oklahoma: Like The Play, Only No Singing

Oregon: Spotted Owl... It's What's For Dinner

Pennsylvania: Cook With Coal

Rhode Island: We're Not REALLY An Island

South Carolina: Remember The Civil War? We Didn't Actually Surrender

South Dakota: Closer Than North Dakota

Tennessee: The Educashun State

Texas: Si' Hablo Ing'les

Utah: Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus

Vermont: Yep

Virginia: Who Says Government Stiffs And Slackjaw Yokels Don't Mix?

Washington: Help! We're Overrun By Nerds And Slackers!

Washington, D.C.: Wanna Be Mayor?

West Virginia: One Big Happy Family... Literally!

Wisconsin: Come Cut The Cheese

Wyoming: Where Men Are Men... and the sheep are scared

Coded Personal Ad
Single Stud Muffin Seeks:

Tall well-built woman with good
reputation, who can cook frogs
legs, who appreciates a good fuc
schia garden, classic music, tal-
king without getting too serious.

Feel free to apply, but please only read lines 1, 3, and 5.



Boys Will Always Be Boys

A masked man goes into a sperm bank, points a gun at the woman behind the counter, and says, "Open the safe." She says, "This isn't a real bank, it's a sperm bank."

He says, "Open the safe or I'll shoot." She opens the safe, and he says, "Now take one of the bottles and drink it."

After she opens the bottle and drinks it, he takes off his mask and the woman realizes the robber is her husband. He says, "Now you see? It's not so difficult, is it?"


Eating Pussy Can Be Dangerous!

home | disclaimers/privacy | contact
Most Popular Adult
Singles Match Sites!

sexy ads for single men and women


alternative match


passionate personals for passionate singles


redpersonal ads


I want you photo ads


hot sex personals


personals for amateur adults


love line adult matchmaking


fantasies matchmaking


personal ads for adults only


X date matchmaker


adultmatch doctor personals


imlive web cam cyber sex chat


best sex personals online


dating for adult singles


Quotable Quotes

Ah, yes divorce...from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet. - Robin Williams

Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself. - Roseanne

Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place. - Billy Crystal

You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, "My God, you're right! I never would've thought of that!" - Dave Barry

According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful. - Jay Leno

Slogans To Help Promote Safe Sex

1. Cover your stump before you hump

2. Before you attack her, wrap your whacker

3. Don't be silly, protect your willy

4. When in doubt, shroud your spout

5. Don't be a loner, cover your boner

6. You can't go wrong when you shield your dong

7. If you're not going to sack it, go home & whack it

8. If you think she's spunky cover your money

9. If you slip between her things, be sure to condomize

10. It will be sweeter if you wrap your peter

11. She won't get sick if you wrap your dick

12. If you're going into heat, package your meat

13. When you're undressing your venus dress up your penis

14. When you take off her pants & blouse, slip up your trouser mouse

15. Especially in December, gift wrap your member